either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
