just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
is it fun? or sober?
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