the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
im about as happy as oj after his trial
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
