Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
