i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Moan for me like Helen Keller
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
