i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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