Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
