Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
