I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Randomize
