Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
you made out with another girl for some wings
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
