Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
What did we do last night that was yellow?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize