Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
