i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
