Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
he just fucked me for my cheese.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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