We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
