would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
