Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I have aggressive nipples.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
