I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
