The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Randomize
