No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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