Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
