i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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