i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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