i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
