i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
