So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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