Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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