This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
