so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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