i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
and she was petting her beer can
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
