You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
