And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
