Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
