they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
