it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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