I'm going to jail i love you
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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