nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
