i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
