the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
