My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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