I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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