I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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