Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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