I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
