my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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