You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize