Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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