Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
