no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
