member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
