I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize