Sry I called you an 8
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
