Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
