come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Randomize
