The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
