Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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