You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
A+ Viking dick
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
