then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
