She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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