Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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